LDRs

Yes, I'm in a long distance relationship. I wake up some days wondering how it happened. I wasn't looking for it. I didn't expect it. It just happened. Like any other relationship, it has its ups and downs and I sometimes struggle dealing with the erratic wave of emotions and moods that come along with it. So, as with any other situation that comes into my life, the best way to figure it out is to research and read about it. I wanted to know the particular struggles LDR couples face and the strategies they use to survive. I found various resources on the internet: websites dedicated to the subject, articles on relationship sites, advice from experts, and I even checked out a book from my local library. I experienced a litany of feelings reading through all the material I found: surprise, frustration, relief, anger, and even had a few "aha" moments. I don't know if all this research made me feel any better about my relationship or that it garnered any hope that it is going to survive, but I definitely learned a few things. For those of you out there in LDRs, here are some strategies I found:

* Stay in regular communication.
* Stay optimistic.
* Socialize with with friends and family routinely.
* Find someone (other than your partner) you can talk to about your relationship.
* Discuss ground rules with your partner.
* Schedule your next reunion before you leave your current one.
* Plan the relationship in small blocks of time.
* Keep up on the daily trivia of each other's lives.
* Send letters and photos often.

I have tried some of these and some are new to me. The important thing is to adapt each one to your own relationship and personal needs. And remember, you can research till you've exhausted all the resources out there, but nothing will beat talking to your partner directly about what each of you wants and needs from the relationship. If you can't communicate openly and honestly with your partner, then the distance is the least of your concerns (and mine).